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BEHIND HER MASKED SELF


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QIANYU
Read between the lines
and you will get what i meant.
The truth brings insanity;
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TO UNDERSTAND

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    Wednesday, July 21, 2010

    I guess its freaking long since i've last blogged.
    And everytime when i do, its all going to be something bad.
    Life's like this.

    Just when i want to treat everything right and like my best, i always got cheated.
    tell me about it.
    is it that hard just to treat someone right and to love.
    i'm getting damn demoralised.
    you make me want to play back on you only.
    there's no such things as i'm just like that.
    everything happens for a reason please.

    When i am needed, you come to me.
    whispering all those sweetnothings to me, sorry i dont take that.
    i've been through it.
    Do you think that you can actually escape from reality that if you could think about cheating on me i had thought about that also?
    its like omg child's play.
    speaking of you being mature, i guess you are the one that needs to be taught a lesson.
    Girls are not your toys and let alone your partners on bed just cause you miss that intimacy with the opposite sex.

    You've mentioned that we are more than friends but its just that we need to spend more time to proceed to the next stage.
    i don't even think time is a factor.
    it is just how you treat your heart matters.
    you dont even take me seriously.
    you will get your retribution, seriously!

    And i think i'm getting worser, but i just want to fight for my own rights.
    i thought of revenge.
    how sweet, to even think of a way to deal with this kind of people.
    i want you out of my life but im not going to lose to you.
    i want you to be the bad guy.
    i want you to be the first to say that you dont want to be in contact.
    i want you to feel guilty.
    i want you to know that girls don't just revolve around your fingers and just manipulate like you wish.
    B UT I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO THAT!
    yes i admit im such a loser when it comes to this.
    me being cheated? come on, no one would believe it.

    I always hold on to that very last hope that you would change.
    not for me, at least for yourself or your ex girlf.
    but i guess i failed big time.
    i've tried ways and means to make you feel touched like how you did from the start, but it died off after i took over from your place.
    Isn't that so?
    i hope whatever i said prick your conscience.
    i'm feeling very bad on the inside.
    i dont want to face you everyday with a fake smile.

    When im out with you, i felt just not right.
    you make sacarstic comments to whatever i've said.
    i took that in stride.
    i guess you do not know, i'm just one ordinary girl.
    i can't make wonders and just satsify what you want.
    i have my limits too AND YES IM A GIRL YOU KNOW.

    have i not been taught a lesson yet from the previous one?
    just a bet from the friend just to get me and shake me off.
    tell me, really. get a life.
    all of you jerks, your faces irk me.






    All this time I was wasting
    Hoping you would come around
    I've been giving out chances every time
    And all you do is let me down
    And it's taking me this long

    Baby but I figured you out
    And you're thinking we'll be fine again
    But not this time around
    You don't have to call anymore
    I won't pick up the phone
    This is the last straw
    Don't wanna hurt anymore

    And you can say that you're sorry
    But I don't believe you baby
    Like I did before
    You're not sorry, no, no, no, no

    Looking so innocent
    I might believe you if I didn't know
    Could've loved you all my life
    If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
    And you got your share of secrets
    And I'm tired of being last to know
    And now you're asking me to listen
    Cause it's worked each time before

    But you don't have to call anymore
    I won't pick up the phone
    This is the last straw

    You had me falling for you honey
    And it never would've gone away, no
    You used to shine so bright
    But I watched all of it fade

    There's nothing left to beg for
    And you can tell me that you're sorry
    But I don't believe you baby
    Like I did before
    You're not sorry


    I really don't know how and what should i believe in anymore.