I want and i need to get those unwanted thoughts out of my mind. and why am i still getting so affected over what you did its like, seriously i dont have to give a damn about everything but i still chose to care. i dont like myself being like that. all i do everyday is to complain and complain but not acting against it why am i still procrastinating
THIS IS REALLY THE TIME, WHEN I STARTED TO THINK I'M SUCH A BITCH AND I'M A SUPER LETDOWN TO MYSELF. COME ON MAN, I KNOW I CAN DO A BETTER JOB. LIFE SUCKS BUT I DONT CARE, I KNOW I CAN LEAD IT BETTER WITHOUT YOU.
tests marks are bad. i dont wish for more, at least no Ds this time round(:
Monday, December 28, 2009
The 5 years plan. i will always be with you.
work today was OMG SUPER TIRING TTM. and those cheeeeeeeeeeenapokkkkks. they are damn irritating i swear. okok enough of work
school's tmr, and im excited! i cant wait to see my dearies. my mind just can't stop thinking of non-existing things.
i want that inner voice to shut up seriously. like what someone told me, its just a feeling i have to be logical to decide for myself. im lost too, i dont know how to be strong again its like, i know the world's not tumbling down but then, i just dont know how to accept the fact as yet you still belong in my world. but now, a different status. we are just normal friends. friends that could not even share passionate hugs and kisses i do not know why do i still hesitate till now since i've made up my mind, i should stop. its just very difficult, afterall we've been tgt through everything for nearly 400 days. they are not for display purpose. we've built it all up together and now everything was crashed. damn it ok, seriously.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I think im super timid to the maxxxxxxxxxxx la omg, i like look down on myself a little i can't even erase the things that doesn't belong to me anymore. eh please, i have to do it ok. and i know i must stop wasting time on all these. my assignments are not yet done, my goodynesssssssssssssssss! i want school to start soon like SERIOUSLY. and anying, when are you going to come back huhuhuhuh?! i miss you laaaaaaaaa.
and i thank you for all those times when you around to help me up when i fall; but i guess i have to settle my feelings first before doing anything unfair right i know. sorry
tmr's straight 12 hours of work at clinic and i seriously wish somone would sponsor me cab home.
Monday, December 21, 2009
I KNOW I SHOULDNT HAVE KEPT THE RINGS. EVERYTIME UPON SEEING THEM, I WOULD HAVE TO CONTROL MY FEELINGS. I KNOW I HAVE TO BE STRONG I CANNOT SHED A TEAR. THIS ISNT THE ENDING IT SHOULD BE, I SHOULD RETURN THEM TO THE OWNER. HAPPY ENDING RIGHT. I WANT IT TO BE LIKE HOW I RECEIVED IT. I'M FEELING MISERABLE ON THE INSIDE. I THANK ALL THOSE WHO HAD ACCOMPANIED ME FOR THE PAST DAYS. BUT WHEN IM ALL ALONE, EVERYTHING IS HAUNTING ME AGAIN. I CANNOT LET MYSELF DOWN AGAIN YES YOU ARE RIGHT, BREAKUPS ARE NOT JUST LIKE GAMES. I CANNOT TURN BACK SINCE I'VE DECIDED. I CANNOT CRY REALLY. I CANNOT BE A FOOL ONCE AGAIN I CANNOT LIE TO MYSELF I CANNOT REGRET!
I HATE MYSELF TO THE CORE. I NEED TO WAKE UP SERIOUSLY.
its just a failure of love, it doesn't mean that the world is ending so i know i cannot let those who care for me disppointed. I OUGHT TO BE HAPPPY. CHEERUP YOU QY.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The side effects kicked in after yesterday i know this is just a moment of rashness for making things happening too fast. but i know i cannot regret i have to be strong and im proud of myself, not letting any teardrop down i need accompany, so i wont think so much I CANNOT REGRET! i have to live on with my life. yes, damn it. i know my life damn suck thats why you didnt even enjoy in the first place. ok, i should change my blog soon. i dont want to be contaminated with bad memories. and i just need to be assured this is the right choice.
i thank you for giving your love and once again for entering my life this 6 years have been hard on you.
Friday, December 18, 2009
the picnic photos(: i think i shall just upload a few. its not that im lazy but the alcohol has not wear off. im freaking having a headache laaaaaaaa. but the feeling was damn good. i like!
i'm in a dilemma can someone save me. :(
and im damn sorry to hurt you, my good friend(:
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sentosa today! lets pray for th weather to be fine today i will upload the picnic photos soon to blog.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
WHY DO I NOT HAVE THE MOTIVATION TO STUDY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAST PAPER TMR. OMGOMGOMG, ITS PICNIC YO(:
i cant wait seriously. 2 papers really make me super slack.
i don't know what answer should i give
i just think that we could have spend more time tgt even if the tests are our priority.
cause we always make it a point to not neglect one another.
even now, walking home doesn't even gives us peace.
and then, something's really wrong.
are you doubting me or whatsoever, i really dont know
sometimes i think i've to let go and not be so possessive over you
but i guess, i've overestimated what i feel
cause i think the reasons you gave were disappointing enough to make me weep over them
i'm not angry over what you've did for anything
and pretty sure enough, i guess i've hoped too much
when i dont hope, i wont disappoint myself
i'll be honest with you.
but i do not know if you read my blog
im feeling like how you are feeling when we were on the verge of breaking up the other time.
i dont know how do i answer your questions, so both parties woudnt get hurt
so i chose to remain silent for everything
i hope you will forgive me on that.
and i did not regret getting back tgt.
at least we've tried and we know if we could be.
but just leave this till the tests end.
Well the talks are overrated
Am I saying how you feel?
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real
And I… get you just a little time
I wonder if you realize
I've been waiting 'til I see it in your eyes
Monday, December 07, 2009
I didnt know i caused you to be even more unhappy and when i ask you to take initiative, you did i was grateful and more than happier maybe i was wrong, and ok i really did the wrong choice. you are really nice. no awkward silence and everything yes, you are doing good. keep it up ok. trust me, everything will be fine soon(: dont blame yourself for everything you live for yourself and not others, rmbr this. i will be even more guilty if you are going to forsake yourself again. you deserve better.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Just know that you're not in this thing alone There's always a place in me that you can call home Whenever you feel like we're growing apart Lets just go back to the start
i'm totally drained out this few days. everyday its just work study all. omg, i need a break. POCKY! and my motivation, why is it not coming. freaky enough, i had this ulcer in my eye for the past few days. yup, recovered from that bubble. HHAHAH ok, i lost my vibe for blogging i dont even know what i want to type.
I CAN ONLY SAY THESE FEW DAYS DAMN SUCK. AND I ONLY GOT BLAME FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DID WHY HAD NOBODY SEEN THE GOOD BUT THE BAD. FORGET IT, THIS WHOLE WEEK I SHALL NOT UPSET MYSELF I'M A HAPPY GIRL(:
i shall just update a few random photos.
hey girlfriends. we must endure this week for that 2 impt dates. after that, yesssssssss our thurs date out. jiayou for all and special goodyluck to us(:
the rest of you taking exams. HAHAH GOOD LUCK TOO
Friday, December 04, 2009
THIS BLOG'S LIKE DEAD. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG I PROMISE I WILL REVIVE IT AFTER EXAMS I SWEAR. WITH PICTURES OK!